Fiction: Something Invented by the Imagination
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|I'm enjoying this very much.....More please...Jenny xxx|
|Lucky David 2|
|One new woman who got off lucky by having her hair and make-up pampered and done. Good story|
|lovly read,i was so enraptured i forgot about dinner. thanks|
|Ginger and Mister Fogey|
|I just wanted to say that my opinion of the story still stands, and, considering the direction the story is taking, I don't really see how it could change my mind by reading more of it.Well, what can I say? Maybe I should back up a little bit and explain myself. I'm a big fan of TG/BE stories. I read constantly, not just internet stories, but novels, comics, and whatever else that interests me. I just love to read. It seems to me that most people read casually. They don't really stop to take the time to enjoy what they are reading. Also, I'm a bit of a writer. Oh I'm nowhere near as accomplished as Caleb or Raven. I've got a couple stories published at the BE Archive under the pen Leviathan (shameless plug).So back to the review. Why negative? Well, as I said, I really get into a story when I read it. It's my idea that a story should take a reader on an entertaining ride, present a make-believe world that would be interesting to jump into for a brief period of time, and most importantly give people a kind of satisfaction about what they have read. But, every story can't be like that. This story I think was trying to be a little differrent from the rest of the TG stories, but so different that the irony of it would only make sense if a reader had read countless other TG stories - hence the heaps and loads of praise from the other readers, of which I'm actually surprised the response is so unanimously positive. Taking this story on its own merits, I found it neither to be entertaining, interesting, or satisfying.At it's basest level, the Wayfarer story is trying to present the troubles of going through a teen pregnancy in a way that would let the average male reader understand women better. That is the chief idea that I kept getting from the story. First of all, you know that most of your readers are going to be men. The subject is, after all, trans-gender. And being that, most of the readers are going to want to be presented with the belief that being a woman would somehow be a little better than their own lives. I didn't get that impression. I don't want to be in the life of Jenny. Her life is too complicated and serious. She has a hard road ahead of her, and the story goes completely out of its way to force that point on the reader. So what I'm saying is this story didn't really appeal to me from a trans-gender standpoint. Strike one.This story spends a lot of time focusing on the love-lives of the different characters - searching for "true love". I had very mixed opinions about this, but, in general, I was really unhappy with the way things were turning out for the characters. Robbie (in Jenny's body) finds herself falling in love with Joshua. This couple presented a terrible slew of problems. Joshua was a character that I really didn't like (for a number of obvious reasons). It was obvious he was obsessed with Jennie, an obsession that had lasted for many years. That aspect of Joshua I didn't find endearing to love. I found it frightening. Joshua is obviously infatuated with Jenny, and he doesn't really have the capacity to love her under those circumstances. Also, if Joshua did love (or think he loved) Jenny. Robbie is NOT Jenny - no matter how hard he tries to be. Sooner or later, Joshua is going to have to come to grips with the fact that the girl he is in love with is neither a little girl nor the person that he knew as Jenny. His love is based on a person that no longer exists: in body and in mind. On top of that, if Jenny happens to regain control of her body, she is not going to be in love with him any more, and you go to great lengths (through her friends, mother, and boyfriends) to show that Jenny is not the type of person that likes guys like Joshua. That alone almost guarantee's that Robbie and Jenny can't change back. It would ruin all of the work the author put into writing the story and cultivating their "love" between each other, no matter how flawed it may be. Then you have Robbie and Barbi's relationship. I have to admit right now that Barbi is one of my favorite characters in this story. I think her situation is the most genuine and realistic: her misbegotten marriage with Rod, her love/worrying for her daughter, and her dreaming of a better life. Is it any wonder that she would fall in love with the first man that offered her support and a chance at feeling secure again? Then you have Robbie. Jenny is still a fifteen-year old, a fifteen year old that's is VERY immature and confused. Look at her life: she doesn't have good grades in schoole, she's obsessed with only being popular, and her boyfriends are violent abusers. Jenny, no matter how good her intentions may be, has a lot of growing up to do. She isn't going to be able to continue Robbie's law practice, she can't support Barbi, and she doesn't understand what Barbi needs in a man. There is more to having a relationship than having sex. Barbi will not recieve the emotional support of an adult that she needs, and she is going to have to monetarily support Robbie/Jennie and her daugher and a new baby. This relationship is never going to last, not because of any lack of "love," but because the differences and complications in their lives will force them apart. I hate to get all serious about this, but you have to admit that the tone of the story is serious too. The somber tone of the story coupled with the forced and disbelieving flaws in the characters' relationships makes for a confusing and rather frustrating read. The author might could have salvaged one of these relationships by just focusing on one. But focusing on both of them dilutes the story and causes severe problems in the case of a switch-back of Robbie and Jenny. Strike two.Rod is a very interesting character to me. First because of the kind of character that he is portrayed as: the idle husband whose violent tendancies are caused by outside stimuli. Barbi admits that Rod was a decent man when she married him. His violent behavior manifests itself whenever he drinks and get's fired. He probably raped Jenny one night when he got fiercely drunk. Though ill-placed, his attempts to hide the truth from Barbi shows that he still has feelings for her. This depth of character kept me interested long after I had become disgusted with the rest of the story. The problem is that I can feel that the Rod character will be misused in the remainder of the story. His drinking/violent tendancies will become increasingly worse, and he will lose whatever shred of humanity he has left. After that happens, Rod will turn into the standard "evil guy" that will either get killed or put in jail, instead of getting the help/therapy that he obviously needs. After Rod fits into the standard bad guy stereotype (which he was quickly heading towards), you will have lost the only meaningful/deep character that you had (besides Barbi). Strike three.So there you have it. When you get down to it, I really don't see why people would give this story such high marks. There were many things that I found myself dissagreeing with as I read the story. I kept hoping that things would pick up, but it kept getting worse and worse as the story went on. Like I said, after the part where Robbie asks Joshua to go to La Maze classes, I just couldn't read any longer. I don't see any reason to finish reading this story because I don't like the direction it is heading. For somebody else to say that they liked it so much makes me think that they didn't really read it thoroughly or they were just too overcome by the fact that it was "different" than your average TG story. This is not an average TG story. In fact, TG isn't really the focus of the story. I still say thumbs down. I would love for someone to point out what was so "great" about it.Leviathan|
|Wow, impressive. You could easily expand the story into something that you could sell mainstream. It moved a bit quickly, but then you were showing action from the middle of the story and not writing an introduction. You write well, one of the only stories I actually read through next to "Noel". Good Job|
|A Hunter's Tale|
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